Where are all the good people?

You know what really pisses me off?

People that can't stand up for what they believe in. They can talk the talk, but when it comes times to do the right thing, they turn the other way.

I am rapidly losing faith in the entire human race again. It was restored for a while, but it's going away again. Why? I'm not sure exactly why. I think the thought that I see no good people in this world, David treated me like an absolute asshole, Mike broke my heart, employees are stealing... everything is wrong.

But you know what? I will live my life according to the things I believe in, I will have conviction, I will stand by my principals and nobody can ever change that about me. And for that, I am grateful.

I've been listening to the same song in my car, over and over again... Riot, by Three Days Grace. Not a good idea probably, since it seems to make me act more angry. But I have actually grown to love this song... so simple, but exactly how I feel sometimes.

But, I am not about to start a riot. Hehe, imagine that? A Jaime riot? :D

I will live on. And I will find someone out there that will treat me how I deserve to be treated.

Where are you...?

Mavid and Pike.

This will be a personal blog... so anyone who doesn't know me, I apologize for the fact that you will not know or remotely understand what I am talking about...

Just when I think there could not exist a bigger asshole than, let's call him, 'Pike', along comes, let's call him... Mavid.

Now Mavid has completely changed my perspective on life. Mavid has also changed how I view people. Something Pike never did. Pike upset me, sure, but Mavid has changed my whole definition of 'asshole'.

In talks with Mavid while we were together, we had many discussions on my relationship with Pike. Mavid views Pike as a no-good asshole and a lot worse things.

I agreed at the time, as the breakup was still fresh in my mind.

Now that eight months have passed since the days of Jaime and Pike, I have completely reversed this opinion. Can you imagine such a thing?

Let me use a mathematical thingy here...

Mavid < Pike

Hehe. Less than.

And for me, this is a very harsh statement. Even if Pike had cheated on me, and EVEN if Pike had been cheating on me since the beginning, Pike would still still not surpass the amount of asshole-ness that Mavid has exuded. Let me take this even further... even if Pike had cheated on me and murdered someone, he still would not reach Mavid Asshole-ness.

Pike Asshole-ness < Mavid Asshole-ness

Mavid Asshole-ness to the third power.

Woah. Strong statements by Jaime, huh?

If you'd like the facts laid out so anyone could give a fair and balanced (yay Fox!) opinion, here they are:

Jaime and Mavid start dating February 2011.

April 2011 Mavid breaks up with Jaime.

End April 2011 Mavid writes to Jaime saying he loves her and asks if there is a chance for something more...

May 2011 Mavid ignores Jaime and starts talking to an ex-girlfriend

Middle May 2011 Mavid comes back again

Middle May 2011 Mavid says he has to choose between Jaime and ex-girlfriend

End May 2011 Mavid says he loves Jaime and decided he wants to be with Jaime

June 2011 Jaime and Mavid 'dating' again for 1 day...

Same day.... Mavid writes Jaime a card saying how much he loves Jaime

Next day.... Mavid tells Jaime not to expect anything and that they aren't together again

Beginning July 2011 Mavid writes to Jaime again and asks if they can be friends again

Middle July 2011 Mavid makes plans with Jaime to go out to dinner and hang out

End of July 2011 Mavid stops talking to Jaime and has friend pretend to be Mavid and tells her to stop talking to him. THEN proceeds to pretend to be a state trooper and tells Jaime he is getting a restraining order.

Jaime figures out, due to awful grammar and punctuation, that she is not talking to Mavid. Friend then admits to not being Mavid or a trooper.

End July 2011 Jaime demands explanation of what the FUCK is going on, Mavid responds and says not to talk to him anymore.

Now people... this only makes me look bad, because how could I put up with even the first few events on that list, right? It's like, have some self respect woman!

Now, you could compare this to Pike happenings...

Pike and Jaime start dating at some point in 2008? Or 2009? I can't remember. Wait. 2008.

Pike and Jaime date for almost 2 years.

Pike lied about another girl.

Pike and Jaime break up December 2010.

Pike writes to Jaime May 2011 says Jaime is the best thing that ever happened to him.

Now, these are pretty decent things, right? Things happen. Life happens. Unfortunate, correct?

Mavid happenings are so vindictive and evil and insanely neurotic that I feel fortunate that Mavid never killed me, chopped me up into little bits and fed me to his children.

Mavid needs help.

I can't help Mavid, nor do I want to.

Someone, please get him some help. If not for his sake, then for my safety. I am worried. As is the Policeman in Mohawk. Perhaps writing a blog about is not a good thing, but I need this to be out there. So there are no questions. And maybe if something else happens, they can look back on this and get the facts.

Okay everyone...

I have to go.

Love,

Jaime

Lady GaGoFuckYourself= Dinosaur?

Hello again!

Now that I have some time to write, let's have at it.

Why do I happen to only meet psychopaths? Is there not a single normal man on there for me? Just one. I'd like to know this. I am out of luck. Although I think my most recent ex needs to check himself into a mental institution. And I'm not even trying to be mean here, I'm so serious. For his own good. Do I always have to be the voice of reason for people? Yes. I am Jaime.

Alright. I have a bone to pick with Katy Perry. Besides all the obvious things like, "Why are you so ugly?" or... "Why can't you sing?", or.... "Again... why are you so ugly?"....

The real bone-picking subject is: Why are you rich because you can't sing and you are ugly?

I'm awaiting an answer to this. I seriously need to know. And you know what? I would almost understand if she at least exuded morality or decency in the least, but she doesn't; therefore, I have no understanding for her.

Just the same for Lady GaGoFuckYourself. It's like, ehhhh, maybe she's different.... so don't pick on her. No, you know what? She's disgusting. I can't get the image of her playing her piano on stage, while standing and bending over on the stool in her underwear. My god. Is this necessary?

Now, most twenty-somethings would normally start yelling at me and would try to make humorous points on how this is what is in these days, and she's different, and that nobody has the right to judge her, and oooh you're just jealous, and the list goes on.

I'm extremely fed up with this excuse for immorality and indecency in the music business. Why can't people sing, and do good, and wear clothes? :)

Is this too much to ask? You tell ME, is Lady GaGoFuckYourself a role model you would want for your children?

I think wearing clothes like that at a Yankee's game should be illegal.

Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little...

Let's see another one, shall we?

Oh dear lord. Really? What is that? She kind of looks like a dinosaur...

Am I right?!? Can you see the resemblance?

Anyone who said yes to that is my new best friend.

Okay! I have to go to bed now, and pray that a psycho does not come to my house and kill me or that the OTHER psycho doesn't either... :)

Will write more!

Love,

Jaime

Police Drama? Why...

Hi everyone!

Know what bothers me? When it's suggested to me by a police officer that I come down to the police station and make a report. And he sounds extremely serious. And worried for me. That bothers me. That people put me in these positions.

Do you people think I have nothing better to do?

So I'd like to put this out there, that if I end up murdered, go see someone that has the initials JR. I'm not even close to joking here. And you could probably find him at a place in Ilion... Okay good. I did my part. Maybe it will be on a cool crime show in a year from now. :)

Okay. I have to go get ready now, and will write more later...

Pray for me!

~Jaime

Facebook Photos. Grrr....

Hi everyone.

Want to know what really bugs me?

I'll pause for a second because I know 80% of the people reading this are saying "no" in their heads. :)

These STUPID FUCKING FACEBOOK PICTURES. Oh! I am going to go into the bathroom and pose in the mirror... and then...take a picture of myself... in the mirror!

OH! I'm super sexy!

No. You're not sexy. You're fucking ugly. Just because you did that.

Now, I'm all for posing for pictures, especially when you are like me whose only asset is the face region. For the time being. But hey, why not think a little harder and come up with something good? Pretend you are doing pictures for Style magazine or something.

Then I will have some respect.

If you want to know whose pictures I'm talking about, ask and I'll give you the name of this person. I have no idea if that's a bad or good idea, but, I need a visual to explain exactly what I'm talking about.

Okay, try me for example:

Okay. That could be on a magazine cover, right? Right.

My psychic abilities have been extremely heightened the past few weeks too. This morning, I had a dream that my first cake was for 8:00 am and that I was late. So, I wake up to my cell phone buzzing away. It's the bakery. She tells me the first cake is for 8:00. It's 7:45. Hm.

I don't know what to think of that. But hey, I got the cake done! Imagine that?

And a week before the idiot ex (MICHAEL) wrote to me, I just knew I was going to hear from him soon. I even told my mom. Hm. I don't know what to think of that.

I have a feeling I should play the lottery... :)

Okay everyone... I have to go find something to eat now, and will write more tomorrow...

Love,

Jaime Lee

Jaime on the Rampage.

Ahhh...

Want to relax and slip into a nice calm state of awareness? Listen to Twilight Princess: Midna's Theme... Yessssssssss...

I needed this music playing in the background so I could write this post.

So. Six days ago I called Bassett to get another prescription for Ritalin. As I do every month. And much like every month, they forget to send it to me. So, much like every other month, I have to call them back when I have one pill left.

So. I call, July 6, 2011, and tell them I need another prescription. The person tells me they will take the message because I could be on hold with his office for a long time. I say "Sure, as long as you get the message to him.". They say "Yes ma'am!".

So. Today, I have two pills left. Before calling Bassett again and threatening someone's life with a dull knife, I go out to check the mail to make sure it didn't come.

Of course it didn't come yet.

I call Bassett. Tell them the whole story. I told her I called six days ago, but, I don't have the prescription yet. She says "Oh dear, I'm sorry about that. I don't see a message here, but I'll send out a five day emergency supply for you!". I say "Thank you. Please make sure that I'm sent my original prescription, please". They say "Yes ma'am". I tell her I also told the person before that I need to speak to my doctor because I've been having hallucinations again and it's affecting everything I do now. She says "OK!".

Okay. Peachy!

I get a call back about half an hour later. Colleen. The Bitch. The same bitch that forgets to send my prescription EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MONTH. Sorry. She says she doesn't understand the message, but she can't call in the prescription because it's a controlled substance. And she doesn't think the doctor will want to give me a five day emergency supply.

So. I get angry. I tell her I have TWO FUCKING PILLS LEFT so she has to do something. She says the doctor is not there (surprise, surprise) so she'll have to call me back maybe today, maybe tomorrow. EXCUSE ME, BITCH? I tell HER that she HAS to call me back since I HAVE NO FUCKING PILLS LEFT. She says she can't do anything more for me, and since I don't want to take them anymore, it doesn't matter anyways.

I get more angry and more bitchy. I say "I DIDN'T SAY I DON'T WANT TO TAKE THEM, I TOLD THEM THAT IT'S NOT WORKING ANYMORE, SO I EITHER WANT AN INCREASE IN THE DOSAGE OR TO STOP TAKING THEM, AND IF SO, HOW I GO ABOUT THAT SAFELY".

Bitch.

So she gives me the run around for ten minutes and I told her how it's going to be. (Go me, right?). Today is not the day to be fucking with me. Trust me.

I said "LOOK. I don't mean to come off like such a BITCH right now, but you have to do something. I can't just go off this medicine. I've spoken to three doctors that all say I cannot just quit cold turkey."

Bitch says "Well I don't know if that's true. Plus I don't have anything here that says you called before".

Oh. Oh no. You will wish you never said that to me whore....

So. I say "I can prove I called on the sixth, at 10:55 am, and I can PROVE that I call every single MONTH and you people FORGET about it every single MONTH."

SO. To make a long story short, I bitched her out for a good twenty minutes, she got mad, but in the end, I got what I wanted.

Twenty minutes later my doctor calls me. Tells me he will up my dosage, but does not want to go as high as the ADD dosage. So I have to call him if this does not work. If it doesn't work, he will put in an appeal so I can get Provigil through my insurance, since they said no before.

I like my doctor. I just wish his staff had five brain cells and a teaspoon of common sense. Because I can't take this anymore. I was shaking! But hey, bitching someone out feels damn good sometimes.

And. There is some kind of hacking software on my computer. Which is another reason I'm about to blow a hole through someone's head.

Know what's weird? I've had the feeling that someone was watching everything I do on my computer for quite a few months now. And now I verified it. Great. Geek Squad, get over here!

Okay everyone... now I am listening to Twilight Princess: Sacred Grove music. This is helping too.

I just want to put this in writing that I see things that aren't there now, so if I die, maybe they can do an autopsy and use this information!

I think either I'm going nuts, or, I may be headed for a relapse again. So wish me good luck, and I will write more tomorrow...

Love,

Jaime Lee

Naive.

Hi again!

I've been very reflective this week again. I don't know why it keeps happening, maybe it's the MS?

I've noticed a disturbing symptom again... I see things that aren't really there. I mean, I know I've seen the tarantulas and stuff, but now it's affecting things I do during the day. I need to see the neurologist and maybe he can help me?

Pray for me!

I was thinking about why I was flattered when my one ex (Michael) wrote to me two months ago and told me how I was the best thing that ever happened to him and all that jazz. Then I was thinking about my initial thought as soon as his text woke me up that day. I wasn't going to write back. I was pissed. I said "fuck you" in my head. Why did I write back..? You know what it was? Not that I wanted him back. Not that I thought we belonged together. I wanted an apology. And I eventually got it. Well, I got a "I've made a lot of mistakes". Not an "I'm sorry", but, I'll take what I can get.

So all day today I was thinking about why certain people come into my life and for what purpose. And maybe I'm just looking for a reason to justify what he did to me. I don't know. But either way I was thinking that he came into my life to show me what I should not put up with ever again. That I'm better than that. That I don't deserve to be lied to. To be called names. Then I was thinking about David. And how the transition from Mike to David was amazingly good. And how the two of them differ entirely. And while I was with David, I kept saying to myself "Why in the hell was I with someone like Mike?". Then I was thinking about how the only truly healthy relationship I've had was with David. And I think David came into my life to show me what I did deserve; respect and no name-calling. Besides the issues I had with him, it was the healthiest relationship I had ever been in.

Then I started thinking of why I put up with Mike for as long as I did. His lies. I started thinking about how he would say he had to go to the store while he was over at my house having a Sunday family dinner, and he'd disappear. For no reason. And how stupid I was to not get that he was going to see his lady friend. I didn't get how towards the end, I had stayed over at his house and in the morning he told me to go home for a while, while he ran some errands. I said why don't I go with you, since our plan was to spend the day together? He said no. How did I not get that he was planning to go see his other girl?

How was I that naive?

It bothers me so much this week that I was so fooled by him. My parents warned me for two years about it. I fought them. I drove a wedge between us because of Mike. I fought for him.

I didn't see. Why?

It's been making me feel so awful lately, because the one thing I always prided myself on was that I could read people. And I used to say that I'd never be taken advantage of again, ever since high school.

I swore my wounds from high school would be the last.

But they weren't.

Why?

But I will take all of that and turn it into a positive. At least I learned, right?

Yes. I did learn.

And today I will be thankful that these things happened!

So! I will go eat a granola bar and think of a subject for tomorrow's post!

I know what it is! It will be about the crazy cake lady!

Toodles with noodles for now!

Love,

Jaime Lee

Mother Rant 2.

Hi everybody!

I was watching People's Court yesterday, like I always do, and something disturbed me. Well, what else is new, right? Everything disturbs me.

The defendant moved her new boyfriend of one month into her home with her six year old son.

Does this not bother anyone else? How do you know who this person is? How could you possibly put your child in this position? With a stranger?

Get in LINE people!

But you know what? As I was getting all mad at the TV while watching this, I realized my ex (MICHAEL) moved in with the girl he was screwing around on me with, after a few months too. This speaks volumes about her, right? And she has THREE kids! I think that's child abuse. I just don't get it anymore. How can you trust someone enough after two months to be around your own children? Are women becoming this needy?

That is a sad day.

And you know what's so awesome about me? :D I know I would look at a man differently if he wanted me to move in with him after a month of knowing me, while having his kid in the house too. How could you not? Would you put your own child in that situation? No. But hey. That's people for ya.

I could write a whole blog on the Casey Anthony thing. I could. And I want to. But it will come off way too angry. As the thought of her going free sickens me. Who the frig gets a tattoo that says Beautiful Life while her daughter is missing? Really? Are you missing that many brain cells, dearie?

I swear to god I'd kill that woman myself if it wouldn't land me in jail. But hey! She got away with it, why can't I?! Hehe.

No no peoples, I am not serious... But you know what I mean, right? It's just not fair. You all know how I get when things aren't fair. Jaime gets angry...

Okay, I have to go clean my room!

No!

I am buying a new Nintendo DS! I need a new one to play Etrian Odyssey 2 on... need a bigger screen and a left button that actually works! I am super jazzed!

Okay, toodles with noodles for now!

Love,

Jaime Lee

Asked out! YAY ME!

Hi everyone!

Isn't today so BEAUTIFUL?!

Yes. Indeed it is.

And ya know WHAT? I was asked out today, during my random trip to the gas station and grocery store! YAY ME! And he's super cute. Ah. See what Jaime can accomplish when she wears bright yellow nail color and a pretty necklace? Teehee.

And. Totally flirted at the deli counter with the OTHER cute boy there. Not Eric, but someone new. And he's cute too. So. Jaime's self-esteem is back to normal now. Just how I like it. Just a tad full of myself but still a little shy and innocent!

Yup. Jaime at her best.

Life is interesting.

Happy summer!

Love,

Jaime Lee

KITTIES!

Ahhhhhh....

Beautiful day out! I'm inspired!

I played with Goomba, I played with Little One, I played with Grey Grey, THEN I played with Little Grey and Little Pudge! Little Pudge started licking my nose and it was the most adorable thing in the world...

If anyone is looking for a kitty, let me know. I have two :)

You know what? I want to put a picture of them on here!

Okay, wait right here, I will go take a picture............






Aren't they just darling little things?! Hehe. They live outside and I can't get enough of them!

Okay... just wanted to write that I'm happy today... truly happy. :)

Will write more...

Love,

Jaime Lee