Interferon? Sad face...

I'm better now...

I decided I can't be angry... it will only make me worse :)

So I have a few options:

• beta interferon 1a (Avonex)
• beta interferon 1a (Rebif)
• beta interferon 1b (Betaferon)
• glatiramer acetate (Copaxone) NOPE.

Since the launch of the Risk-sharing Scheme in 2002, further disease modifying drugs have been licensed.

• natalizumab (Tysabri) - licensed in 2006, this drug is approved for people with rapidly evolving severe relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis but is not part of the Risk-sharing Scheme

So. In summary... my only option NOW is interferons... Why did I not choose interferon treatment before? Because of this:

Interferon (cont.)

Flu-like symptoms following each injection (fever, chills, headache, muscle aches and pains, malaise) occur with all of the interferons. These symptoms vary from mild to severe and occur in up to half of all patients. The symptoms tend to diminish with repeated injections and may be managed with analgesics such as acetaminophen (Tylenol) and antihistamines such as diphenhydramine (Benadryl).

Tissue damage at the site of injection occurs with all of the interferons but more commonly with interferon beta-1b and pegylated interferon alfa-2b.

Depression and suicide have been reported among patients receiving interferons; however, it is unclear whether depression and suicidal thoughts are caused by the diseases being treated or the interferons themselves. Therefore, all patients receiving treatment with an interferon should be observed for the development of depression and suicidal thoughts.

Other side effects that may occur with all interferons and which may be caused by higher doses are:

• fatigue,
  
  
• diarrhea,
  
  
• nausea,
  
  
• vomiting,
  
  
• abdominal pain,
  
  
• joint aches,
  
  
• back pain, and
  
  
• dizziness.

Anorexia, congestion, increased heart rate, confusion, low white blood cell count, low platelet count (thrombocytopenia), low red blood cell count, an increase in liver enzymes, an increase in triglycerides, skin rashes, mild hair loss or hair thinning, swelling (edema), cough, or difficulty breathing have been reported.

Um. I don't know about this.

Or hey! What about... Tysabri, like my Neurologist suggested last year?

Tysabri increases your chances of developing PML.

Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML) is a disease of the white matter of the brain, caused by a virus infection that targets cells that make myelin--the material that insulates nerve cells (neurons). Polyomavirus JC (often called JC virus) is carried by a majority of people and is harmless except among those with lowered immune defenses. The disease is rare and occurs in patients undergoing chronic corticosteroid or immunosuppressive therapy for organ transplant, or individuals with cancer (such as Hodgkin’s disease or lymphoma). Individuals with autoimmune conditions such as multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, and systemic lupus erythematosis -- some of whom are treated with biological therapies that allow JC virus reactivation -- are at risk for PML as well.

Oh happy day.

Which death-trap should I go with? Help me please :)

Love,

Jaime Lee

Angry Fucking Post

I am angry today. Right now. My head is going to explode. Oops. THERE IT GOES! HEAD JUST EXPLODED ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Why you ask?!? BECAUSE I can't take my MS Medication anymore because my INSURANCE won't PAY for it anymore because of fucking OBAMA and now I have no options! Nothing. And OH! I KNOW WHAT YOU ALL ARE THINKING! PAY FOR IT YOURSELF!

Want to know how much it would cost me per month? $3500.00. FUCK IT!

FUCK!

FUCK!

FUCK!

CAN JAIME AFFORD THAT MUCH MONEY PER MONTH? JAIME DOESN'T EVEN MAKE THAT FUCKING MUCH A MONTH! And WHY YOU ASK?! Because Jaime has this thing called MULTIPLE FUCKING SCLEROSIS that makes it so GOD DAMNED HARD to fucking get out of BED EVERY FUCKING MORNING to even GO TO WORK. So in TURN, Jaime has to be on MEDICAID!

JAIME WANTED A DRUG TO HELP HER FATIGUE BUT MEDICAID WOULD NOT PAY FOR IT! So the FUCKING DRUG THAT WOULD POTENTIALLY ENABLE ME TO WORK EVEN 40 HOURS PER WEEK AND LET BE ABLE TO PAY FOR MY OWN FUCKING INSURANCE, IS NOT AN OPTION!

JAIME WANTS TO KILL SOMEONE.

So. I have to start working on letters to senators and fucking OBAMA to say: What do I do now, asshole?

Love,

Jaime Lee

Happy 111th post to me!

Happy 111th post to me!!!

Go me. Ah, so many things to say, but where to start.

I am having a Halloween Room Party... Does that sound strange? I am going to decorate my room with spider webs and pumpkins. I even bought candy corn hand soap and a pumpkin towel for the bathroom! This will be the most exciting party ever... I am going to have green punch! And finger foods! And there will be scary music playing!!! I know what most of you are thinking, but yes, my room is big enough. It's too big, as maybe one of you may know. My room is bigger in square footage than my grandma's house... is that sad or what? :D

I have never been so excited about anything in my entire life.

I'm also happy today... I'm happy that people can put aside their differences and come to an agreement or understanding. I'm glad people as a whole are capable of doing so. It makes me happy and also makes me think that maybe humankind is not completely lost in its ways.

I will ponder that for a while.

I've been trying to figure out how I could be a part of Eastern Star or something close to it. But I'd have to have a relative who is in it to be able to join. I might know, but, I don't really talk to those people much and it seems like a weird thing to bring up out of the blue. If anyone has advice, let me know :)

Since this is my 111th post, I will commemorate this by talking a little about 11 as it relates to my life and how I perceive things.

First I will give background for anyone who is interested:

11 came to my life about 11 years ago (woah!) and I didn't understand. Every time I would look at the time, it would also be on eleven, or four eleven, or six eleven. I barely paid attention to it. Then it started happening more and more, to where it was annoying. Finally, one day when I was sitting at my art desk painting, I looked at the time again, it was four eleven. That was the last straw so I went down stairs and went online to see what the number may mean.

I came to realize I was not the only person this happens to. Thousands. Millions perhaps experience this. There are so many theories out there, none of which I am sure about. But I do know this: Someone is trying to tell me something. I will listen more.

Also, though researching 11:11, I've been drawn to the idea that people can change their surroundings just by thought... When I was little I seemed to be able to do this a lot. I just passed it off as mere coincidence or a fluke. Until one day I experimented with my mental ability. What I came to find out has changed my life.

I had my Ipod on shuffle. I wanted a certain song (Bless the Broke Road, by Rascall Flatts). So, I decided to concentrate and 'make' the song come up as the number I thought of. I concentrated. Really hard. Then I hit 'next' to go to that number song, and sure enough, there it was. Wow, what a weird coincidence!

Little did I know that I would be able to do this five more times. All in a row. All different numbers. Coincidence? Not any more. It exceeded the realm of a mere coincidence. I wrote down those numbers so I would never forget how many times I could do it.

Besides being a little scared and miffed, I decided I would look more into this.

I saw a show featuring Morgan Freeman which explored this and I was so thrilled. What I had done was being researched actually... the very same concept.

http://www.damninteresting.com/random-event-generators-predict-the-future/

I've come to accept that I have the power to change things. And for that, I am grateful. It all started with the number 11. It's led me to so many awesome things and I am truly grateful. Even if nobody believes me at all... it's okay because I know the truth. :)

Will write more... until then....

~Jaime Lee

11:11

Cartman as Gordon Ramsay....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrIFfYib8pE

Hehehehe.....heheheheheheheh.....

Hehehehehehehhe....

As above, so below.

As above, so below.

"The old testament tells that the tablets were written on stone (petra), and on both sides- the side of the Templars and the side of the common people. The law is indeed written into living stone, which includes mankind. The new testament too tells that the Church is build on "Peter" (Petra, Greek for stone). What has never been explained before is that the true law is basically very simple. The old testament, the law that Moses brought from The Mountain, was written into both sides of the tablets which Moses smashed. One side contained the 10 Roman numbers, and the other the Hebrew Alphabet. The law carved into the stone tablets can only be understood now, as we enter the millennium of the age of Aquarius, the 11th astrological sign.

Let me then show to you how the ten number figure on the tablets. Five of the roman numbers were written from top to bottom and the other 5 from bottom to top, the same as the holy testaments of which one is written from the bottom to the top, and from back to front. While the new testament is written top to bottom and from front to back.

1 + 10 = 11
2 + 9 = 11
3 + 8 = 11
4 + 7 = 11
5 + 6 = 11

The Law symbolizes the power from above and the power from below

On earth, as it is in heaven.

11:11

Peeing too much or too little? That is the question.

DENTIST!

Hehe. I went to the dentist today... I got my crown fitted and a FILLING! EEK.

But, my crown doesn't feel good so I have to go back tomorrow! I love my dentist. He is the sweetest man I've ever known! So hard to find in the medical field, right? Right.

On the upside, I can't pee again. Wait, that's an upside?

No. That is a huge downside.

Jaime=pain

But, there are far worse things in life I suppose. So the fact that I have to drown myself in water, use Vagisil on my my pee pee to numb it to make the bad feelings go away, take Azo and drink cranberry juice until it is coming out of my ears, and take super hot showers to ALSO numb the area until it's scarred, is a minor drop in the bucket.

Really though. I just realized that people are much more capable of withstanding pain than what we might think. And as you get older, you learn that things could be worse.

So in the five years I've battled not peeing, peeing too much, peeing when I shouldn't, not walking, not seeing, not feeling, and so on, I've learned to cope and be okay with the little things.

My neuro suggested a drug that would make me pee less often. I said I'd take peeing too often than not peeing at all, trust me.

For anyone that wants to know, always choose to pee often.... please trust me.

But as I told the bitch customer yesterday, Life is not that bad. Try to smile. Things work out. I promise :)

I know people are curious about this customer I keep referring to...

Yesterday, a lady came in for her 18 cupcakes. The order was for 12:00. My dad did not like the way the chocolate ones came out, so he had enough time to re-do them, since he is a perfectionist. :) I tried calling the woman to just let her know what was going on, and that they might be five minutes later than 12.

Tried calling the lady: her cell phone rings once and disconnects.

Cupcakes come out of the oven at 11:30. Put them in freezer to start the cooling process.

11:50 Lady comes in to get her cupcakes.

Jaime goes out front to ask the lady if she could wait just a few more minutes for them to cool properly so I could ice them.

Fucking Bitch C*nt drops her pen, throws up her arms and says: "NO I cannot WAIT! ARE YOU KIDDING?!?"

Jaime replies: "I'm sorry ma'am, the baker did not like the way they came out, so he did them over for you, and they just came out of the oven, and are in the freezer cooling"

Woman Bitch C*nt: "are you KIDDING?! they JUST came out of the OVEN?! How are you going to ice them?!?! THEY WILL BE TOO HOT!" <---- screaming like a mad fucker

Jaime: ".......yes. That's why I JUST said they are in the FREEZER cooling down. Just need a few minutes. Two, three minutes."

WomanBitch of Alkatraz: "THREE MINUTES?!? ok...."

Jaime goes to get the cupcakes out of the freezer, and WOMANBITCH OF ALKATRAZ interrupts again and says :

"Are you going to deliver them to my house?!"

Jaime turns around and says: "NO I'm not going to deliver them, ma'am. Seriously, three minutes. Okay?"

Woman: "Alright!"

Jaime gets them out, ices them, all under three minutes.

Brings them out to woman pacing back and forth.

Jaime says : "Here you are ma'am, they're all set for you"

Little Miss Bitch Face: "12:10 is NOT 12:00, JUST so you know!!!!" <----yells like a bleeding bitch

Jaime hesitates. Wants to say something. OK! Jaime decides she can't let them disrespectful rude arrogant disgrace walk away with treating me like that. Or treating any other human being like that....

Jaime: ".........how do you wake up in the morning?!?"

Bitch Face turns around, astonished by what I just said.... says "exCUSE me!! You have an ATTITUDE!"

***well, duh....***

Jaime: "ma'am, my god, life is not that bad! These are cupcakes!"

Woman Bitch: "YES! Life IS that bad for me! It is!"

Now, I was expecting a profound answer here for why her life is just that bad, that she made an ordeal out of cupcakes being a mere ten minutes (if that) late. I figured she would say she has cancer, her child has cancer, she's dying, her daughter was murdered, something of that sort, that would make me feel bad about asking just why her life is that bad. I was hoping for a decent answer so maybe I could understand this woman's behavior.... much to my disgrace, she said:

"My life IS that bad! Because I have PEOPLE coming over!!!!" <----shrieking

Oh well fuck me then. You have PEOPLE coming over!!! Well alert everybody! You win the Fucked-up Poor Woman of the Year Award! Howdy partner. You have PEOPLE coming over!

So, as she continued shrieking and swearing at me, I told her to go fuck herself, and she fled.

Good riddance. Imaging a more sad pathetic thing, than having a conniption over a few cupcakes, and being held back by not even ten minutes, because someone wanted to do you a favor? Where in life do you not encounter having to wait a few minutes?

I wanted to ask this poor excuse for a woman, how she is when she has a doctor's appointment for three, and does not see the doctor until 3:30. How does she handle that? Is she so spoiled that she can't deal with these things and she lashes out like that?

And imagine people with real problems... people who have children who have an illness. Children who are dying. Imagine the strength and fortitude of these parents to deal with this, and to make sure their child has everything and is comfortable, and the sheer guts it takes to withstand every day, now knowing what is going to happen. But most face it with a grace and dignity that I so so admire.

And here's a woman shrieking over a cupcake. Lord help her.

Decided I want to do this again... start running. It was so fun, I would turn the WiiFit game on, set up the free run thingy, take my wiimote down stairs, run on the treadmill and then see what it came up with! It was almost accurate to the actual miles I ran, minus just a few.

I miss this. My goal for the rest of the year: Be able to run again without relapsing.

Wish me luck!!!

Love,

Jaime lee

11:11

Somewhere with you...

HI EVERYONE!

It's very wet. And very cold. I am very tired. And!

I told a customer to go fuck herself. She did not like that.

Do not incur Jaime's wrath.

Jaime can get very upset and start spewing word vomit everywhere. Jaime can hurt people's feelings. YAY ME!

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. I think I am getting the crown put on. I've realized how nice it would have been if I had dental insurance. Or at least not medicaid. I've spent over $3,000. But you know what? Good dental work is all worth it.

I was thinking today (after I had the "battle of the bitches" at work, about David. And I was wondering why someone has not offered to get him help. I mean, if he's conducted himself like this only in the five or so months I knew him, then other people must sure know he's psychotic. Or. Something. And as angry as he made me, I now just feel sorry for him. He's really messed up and I hope someone helps him. I don't think he's fit to be around people, let alone kids. It worries me.

I mean really though. I'm not trying to come off sarcastic or bitchy. I mean it.

On the upswing, my new male friend Jon called me SUNSHINE!!! Teehee. I loved it. What a cute name for me!

Imma sunshine... :)

That was me last year with the same cute flowery head thingy! Aww.... I will wear that every year on my birthday. Yes I will.

Now I will start singing a song I like but hate at the same time, for personal reasons... Song that makes me reflect and usually makes me sad. One of those damn songs that's haunting me now.

Goodnight everyone...

If you're going out with someone new
I'm going out with someone too
I won't feel sorry for me, I'm getting drunk
But I'd much rather be somewhere with you

Laughing loud on a carnival ride, yeah
Driving around on a Saturday night
You made fun of me for singing my song
Got a hotel room just to turn you on

You said pick me up at three a.m.
You're fighting with your mom again
And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go somewhere with you

I won't sit outside your house
And wait for the lights to go out
Call up an ex to rescue me, climb in their bed
When I'd much rather sleep somewhere with you

Like we did on the beach last summer
When the rain came down and we took cover
Down in your car, out by the pier
You laid me down, whispered in my ear

I hate my life, hold on to me
Ah, if you ever decide to leave
Then I'll go, I'll go, I'll go

I can go out every night of the week
Can go home with anybody I meet
But it's just a temporary high 'cause when I close my eyes
I'm somewhere with you, somewhere with you

If you see me out on the town
And it looks like I'm burning it down
You won't ask and I won't say
But in my heart I'm always somewhere with you

Laughing loud on a carnival ride, yeah
Driving around on a Saturday night
You made fun of me for singing my song
Got a hotel room just to turn you on

You said pick me up at three a.m.
You're fighting with your mom again
And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go

I can go out every night of the week
Can go home with anybody I meet
But it's just a temporary high 'cause when I close my eyes
I'm somewhere with you, somewhere with you

Somewhere with you
I'm somewhere with you
I'm somewhere with you
Somewhere with you
Somewhere with you.................................

11:11

YAY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Yay birthday party....

YAY ME!

Part 2... RED PILLOWS!

LOOKEY!

Teehee....

Yay for me!

Guess who just bought bright red pillows for her bed? Jaime did!

Guess who bought all new bathroom accessories? Jaime did!

Guess who spent money on Mario candy? Jaime did!

Guess who is having a birthday soon and is expecting a really awesome present? Jaime is!!

Guess who did this cake? Jaime did!!

Yay Jaime...