Mixed feelings...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN1vFESbfZk

Well hello!

The funeral today was very nice... very nice service. I hope my uncle would be proud :)

Went to Grandes afterwards and had a nice lunch. It's nice to catch up with the family...

I had a reminder on my phone yesterday that disturbed me. It read: "Three Year Anniversary with Mike!!!"

Hahahaha.... I was like "AWWWWWW" well I should get him something!

Then I was remembering how I was planning something insane for three years. It was going to include an awesome trip. I was so excited. Well. I'm not now, obviously. But I remembered how excited I WAS to surprise him. :(

Made me reflective yesterday and I was left with a sense of feeling so sorry for him. Something I have never felt for him other than when I could see that he was longing for a family of some type. Apparently it makes me sad that his mom and dad never gave him a chance in this world... they set him up for failure. And I'm sorry for that.

So... I suppose that's what this post is about. I hate injustice. And I've always hated that his own parents never gave him a chance. All he has is feelings of inadequacy, whether he knows it or not, and a feeling of never being good enough. The fact that his mom is talking to his abusive father has got to cause something weird in his head too. It's not fair. I know I bitch a lot about him, and rightfully so, he's a fucking liar, I still feel sorry for his life.

And now he's married with kids. He's all messed up. I hope he finds normalcy. But, I don't think I can ever get over what he did to me and how he did it. It was all deceitful. And I resent that so much.

I am making sausage potato soup tomorrow after work! Super excited for this... I hope I can make it good!

Love always,

Jaime Lee

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