Tee Hee!: Dreamer

Sorry for my last outburst.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN1vFESbfZk

I wrote to Governor Cuomo's office. Asking them for any advice. I have nowhere to turn :(

I'm thinking of finding a neurologist in the immediate area. I like mine, but, getting prescriptions and getting messages to him has been so awful. The only ones I can find are at Slocum. Which I don't want. Don't want to go near that building ever again. Many reasons. But I had a neuro there before who made me cry and lied to me about my results.

I did my meditation last night. I was visualizing pretty amazingly actually. I was on a beach, going into the water. I had a bikini on with a wrap over it. Only towards the end of the session did I take off the wrap and saw my body the way I want it. It was pretty cool actually. Not only did I see it, I felt it. I could feel the sand. I could feel the water when you first walk into it, how it's so warm... I went further into the water and it went up to my waist. Nobody else was there except me and my new self. It was amazing. But then he counted to three and woke me up. Psht.

But my dreams last night had to do with Finding Nemo. I was watching it with someone, don't know who. I did my thing where I put my hand on mike's forehead again, but, he wasn't in sight this time. But, I was watching Nemo with someone.

I want to go back there tonight. It is so peaceful in my world. Beach, sand, blue sky, trees, squirrels, water, rocks. Amazing. And it's all mine! You can't have it!!