Love?

Hi everyone!

Jaime is getting feelings for someone... and apparently he has feelings for me too.. this is scaring me, since now I KNOW I have a fear of commitment. I did some research online, and it makes sense to have that after trauma in a relationship.

He's making me feel things I never thought I'd feel again. I have not had these types of feelings for 3 years. So, that makes me happy, but, I'm so afraid of falling for it again. He's saying all the things mike used to say that made me so happy. So what if this person turns into a liar too? And I become the idiot again...

He's been telling me how much he thinks about me, and worries about me (since my hospital trip), and he's so sweet and seems to be perfect. That's just it... the word perfect scares me now.

My mom said the other day that she doesn't think I'll ever get married. I told her she's probably right. I don't want it. I don't want any part of committing myself to someone, because I KNOW they will hurt me. There was mike. He was the worst. Then David. Although, he was just a rebound so maybe it shouldn't count... I didn't think of david as a rebound at the time, but, he was. You should never stay with a rebound... baaaaad idea. Know why? Because the feelings you have aren't true. You're still reeling from a breakup, so the feelings you think you have for a person right after, aren't really there. But, David was a psycho. Chris. He turned into an idiot. Jon. Idiot.

Now I know Todd. Wonderfully different... I think about him. I love when he texts me, he gives me those feelings that make me giddy. The only other time I had ever felt this way was with mike. Which is why I'm scared of it. I fell for mike. Totally head over heels in love, would have done anything for him, would have stayed by his side no matter what. Love. Real love. Or so I thought. He was a liar though.

I don't want to fall for it.

Help me :(