Eleven

Hello :)

My mom said she thinks I'm a person that should have a tattoo.  I found that so funny, so I asked her why.  She just said it seems like I would have a small one that means something to me.

Interesting, in that I am looking to get an 11:11 on my neck really tiny, right below my hairline.  Ya know.  Somewhere where people won't see it.  But I'll know it's there.  It can always look over me.  :)

This week has been very spiritual.  Don't know why.  But I was on my way to work and I looked down and saw my mileage at 111.1 and it made me smile.  :)

So, my elevens are coming back, probably because I've upped my spirit-talk.

I feel connected to something.  Like something has answered back to me and it is in place.

I must sound crazy.

I'm not though.

I just heard that Shinedown song, no idea what it was called, but I heard it on the radio, and mike's face flashed in my face.  It was so weird.  So strong.

I looked up the song, and it's called Unity.  So.  I looked up the lyrics, not really sure what the song it about.  But I had to, since there was a oddly unsettling connection to mike within it.

Maybe it's because I still pray for him to find his way in life and to do better.  Because he's only a victim of his circumstances.

I was talking about this with my brother and mom about how I really want him to be okay in the grand scheme of things.  I'm over being mad, so forgiving him has been wonderful for my state of mind.  I was telling my brother that it's okay to still think about his ex.  There's nothing wrong with that.  I told him I still think about Mike from time to time, it's only natural when someone was a huge part of your life.  I hope it made sense to him.

Know what song makes me cry every time I hear it?  Jason Mraz, I won't give up song?  Holy cow.  I can't!  I can't take it!  I always cry.  I'm trying hard to see if I can get through it.

There are a lot of strong songs these days.

I also realized how much I love that band, Fun.  I love them.  Jaime=in love.  Some Nights song?  Love it.

So.  Should I get a small tattoo?  I want it.

Nom nom deserves something awesome.

Deserves and something and awesome is underlined red.  Did I misspell it?

No.  What is going on?

It's thundering!!!!!!!

I have to go!!!!!!!!!

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

Calorie Tracker, Here I Come!

Hello...

My head is doing the dizzy thing again!  Relapse=not over.

Sad nom nom.

But!  I have been tracking my calorie intake every day.  I am always below 1400 every day!  The calorie tracker people say with my age, weight and all that, I am allowed 1900!  What?  That seems like a lot.  So.  I am sure to lose weight.

Look!

YOUR REQUIREMENTS	Cal (kcal) 1,900	Carb (g) 238	Pro (g) 95	Fat (g) 63	SFat (g) 21	Chol (mg) 300	Sod (mg) 1,500	Fib (g) 25	Sug (g) 48	VitA (IU) 5,000	VitC (mg) 75	Calc (mg) 1,000	Iron (mg) 18	Ptsm (mg) 4,700
YOUR INTAKE	1,280 67%	132 55%	89 93%	42 67%	6.5 31%	45 15%	1,764 118%	5.3 21%	7 15%	3,380 68%	483 644%	115 12%	2.7 15%	960 20%

I didn't mean to have that much Vitamin C.... I drink a ton of orange juice.  Is that bad?  I will try harder.  And I WOULDN'T have had so much sodium, if it weren't for those prepared meals that I accidentally had today... I'm sorry!  And look!  Carbs?  I am awesome.  Imma happy nom nom now.  

I have to go.  This typing page is all weird.  My letters look funny.  My head is spinny.  And my left hand is not working entirely right again.  I must rest!  

Love always,Jaime Lee 11:11

Sad nom nom

Hello...

I was watching videos of the families and victim's families of that horrible shooting.  I wish there was something I could do.  I am so mad for them.  I can't imagine their pain right now... I will pray for them.

I was watching about how a bunch of the men there risked their lives for their girlfriends... how amazing.  It makes me happy that there are people in this world like that.

Then I realized that I never had a boyfriend who would have risked everything for me.  :(

I sure as hell know mike wouldn't have.  He told me if we were attacked by a bear at camp, he'd let me stay there and be chewed on while he went to get the car... :(

Dan might have... and David.  Well.  You know what a psycho David is.  So.  Enough said, right?

Am I that unloveable?

Some day, I tell ya.  Once I'm thin and awesome I will have the best man.  I know it.  He's just waiting for me.  This I am sure of.

Nom nom knows all.  ;)

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

Additional dream info!

I also had a dream about Klondike bars and Deanna Beckman, from high school.  We were eating lunch together in high school.

What does that mean?

Ghosts, Spirits and Goblins.

I am a little tired today...  nom nom....

Hello!

I think I have to do a little less.  Don't want a hospital stay... cross your fingers!  :)

Lookey!

 I did the table tilt thing, and I did it with ONE second left!

Ooooo one....

And at the end of my workout, I had ONE calorie left to burn!

Oooo what are the chaaaaances?

:D

I had a dream about three black cats.  Let me see what this means... One moment please.

To see a black cat means I am experiencing fear in using my psychic abilities and believing in my intuition.

Hm....  I have been afraid of using my abilities lately.  I just don't want to use them and have it backlash.  No.  No more!  Nom Nom will not be afraid!

For a few nights I've had somebody pushing on my body.  Each time I think it's my cat but each time he's not there.  It's really freaky.  It's not subtle either.  This is like a "I'm Here!" type of touch.

Okay, the internet says it means they are trying to get my attention.  I'll listen closely.

After this happened last night, I woke up with a song in my head.  Hang on, I'll figure out what the name is..

Petula Clark, My Love.

Wonder what this all means.

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

156%, Yay for nom nom!

Hi!

I ran on WiiFit and it told me this!  What does that mean...?

I am steadily losing weight, I haven't gone over 1400 calories for a week now.  So that will help.

I also keep a diary of my food!  I am special.

A person at work said my ass looked smaller... YAAY!

Know what?  I've noticed that my ass is the first to lose... hehe.  sounds funny in my head.

My Wii Fit age is at 22 now, also.  It's nice not to have a Wii Fit age of 45... :(

I am really hungry.  Must eat.

I will go eat.  I want to go camping :(  Please?

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

1400 calories per day!

Hello all!

I realized something.  It's insanely easy to only consume 1400 calories per day.

It's also easy to burn 300 calories per day, too.

 Hehehe.... Ok.... thanks cute man.

I think I love this Wii guy.  He told me that any time I want to work on my abs, to let him know... ;)

Yaaaaay for me!

But...

I did hallucinate this morning.  I think maybe I have to take the exercise down one notch again.

I saw a red ball rolling across my floor when I woke up.  Took me a while to realize it wasn't real.

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

American Eagle Shirt. See?

See?  INteresting, huh?

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

Do you think he wants it back...?  :/

Braid.

Hello all :)

I am listening to:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3pBHTdB3m8&feature=related

Ahhh... calm.

I am starting my yoga.  Went upstairs to do some, when I realized my room was a nice crisp 93 degrees.  So.  I decided to turn the air conditioning on and wait a while and sit here and write to you fine people.

Can't end up with a relapse again, no no!

Justin and I are going to buy a WiiU soon.  Well, when it comes out.  I am excited about this and the games.  I love Nintendo.

I heart nintendo.

I almost had to tell off this big planet lady at work today.  But, I held my tongue.  I've been learning how to do that lately.  Be proud!

I want to go camping!  Perhaps in a few weeks.  I am super excited.  My family and I were discussing how we could all buy a camp.  Rent it out during the months where we would not use it.  Very interesting.  Or, I am going to buy some land.  I can't decide which move to make first.

I had a dream I was back in high school.  Why do I have such haunting dreams?  Time Jaime faces her demons, ey?

Now I am listening to this song.  From a game Justin showed me once and I love it.  The music.  The main idea.  Try it.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx60Er1zNnM

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

Summer Days, Summer Haze.

Hello :)

I have been enjoying this summer.  I love swimming.  I love sitting out on the deck talking with my family.  I love planning little trips.  Imma happy nom nom.  :D

We might go camping together.  My mom was asking which site Mike and I used to have at Delta.  Hehehe.  Silly mama.  I told her I think it's 77, and it should be right next to a handicapped site.  Ah.  My memory is still good apparently.  That was the site.  I looked it up for her and yes indeed, it is 77.

Ah.  Those are the only memories I still think about from time to time, as summer moves on in this swift course it seems to take.  Those purely happy times camping with him.  Nothing better.  Makes me smile actually.  The anger is slowly fading and it's slowly turning into a melancholy type thing.  Like, "man.  Those were good times".

But I thank God that I at least had some good times, not really sure when I will have them again with someone.  I am good alone, and I'm fairly sure I can't find someone I'm truly compatible with until I am the ultimate Me.  I'll get there.  No worries.  :)

I was playing Mario Party 8 with Justin and I had such a fun time.  See, I don't know if I'm crazy, but those are the things I live for and believe I always will.  Mario Party.  Camping.  Pizza nights.  Watching re-runs of Frasier and Friends with my mom.  Watching Bill O'Reilly with Dad.  Talking about video games and politics with Jerry.  Talking endlessly about how to change the Zelda series for the better with Justin.

Those are cherished and I want nothing more out of life.  I don't see myself having children.  I'm not even sure if I see marriage.  I think I'd be content with a friend.  :)

Summer days are washing away but my memories will forever be with me.

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

Update to Flashes of a Past Life

Okay...

My mom and I were going through this old basket of clothes that's been in the backroom for over two years.  I found a lot of cool clothes I used to wear!

But...

I also found...

A white American Eagle shirt that belonged to none other than... Mike.

How freaky is that?  This happened today.  I kept it to take a picture to prove it.  And it's totally wrinkled.  Two years wrinkled.

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11

Flashes of a past life

Hello...

Something has been happening lately and I can't really explain it well.

I've been having these like 3 second flashes of some memory.  Not sure what it is, but I know it's either a past life or something I'm supposed to piece together.  They are just flashes of certain places but I can't recall them and it's happened three times now.

Maybe this meditation thing is stronger than I think.

I know it works though, since during part of the tape where I bring my person up using the elevator and I have to visualize this person's face in detail, I can suddenly remember everything.  I can't picture Mike's face otherwise, but when I'm in this alpha state every single detail is there.  His chin, his nose, his eyes, his forehead, his shoulders.  It's so weird!  And he's always wearing a white American Eagle shirt.

I want to know what these flashes are.  I've never had this happen.  I think something is coming.  No, I know something is coming.

I hope it's good though..

My older brother is going to the Pittsburg ballgame and Daughtry is playing after and since he got free tickets through his work, he is staying to see Daughtry!  I am so jealous!!!  He wanted me to come out, but I could not... too much work :(

I loved him when I saw him in 2008 at the NYS fair.

In fact, here is my favorite song, one that was not on the darn CD.  Pffft.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5Y_G1s-kEI

or this one, it's better... at another fair though... but still..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2srZ7fSSF9Y&feature=related

Love always,

Jaime Lee
11:11 approaches