Hello :)
While listening to an inspiring song that has meant a lot to me over the years (details about why at a later date), I will list the things I see changing for myself.
If you'd like to listen to this song, go here. I love it. You don't have to pay attention to what the video is, that's just for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpivZaZEM3Y&feature=fvwrel
I looked in the mirror yesterday and I liked what I saw. For the first time ever, I smiled and just stared at myself. I actually saw the physical change and I realized that I did that. Nobody else did. I smiled some more and walked away, still grinning.
The change is happening and I feel so powerful.
I also realized that nobody else can understand why this is so very personal to me. Nobody else has walked in my shoes or felt my feelings, so this is my road. I am happy to be on it :)
After doing a lot of research on a particular topic, I also realized that there is something different with me, I prefer to say special. Or perhaps even divine in a sense. I can't go into detail, but, I know it so that's all that matters.
I also realized that faith is a very important thing. Something I realized my older brother does not have a lot of. I am sorry for that, but he has to go through his own trials and tribulations to reach his own truth. I hope he does. Faith, I also realized, is extremely personal and nobody has the right to doubt your faith.
I realized that letting go of anger is an amazing thing. I recently did that and wrote a letter to finalize my thoughts, and I feel so much better. This particular person has to be on his own path and figure out why he is the way he is in his own time and I pray that he finds his own way. There are very little bad feelings left in me, and whenever I do happen to think of him, I wish that he does better and proves everybody wrong. I realized that he's only the product of his circumstances so what he did to me is almost irrelevant. Even though it hurt and confused me and made me lose some faith in humanity temporarily, what I got out of it now is tremendous. I only hope his life benefits from the time he spent with me in one way or another. That is my hope.
I am having small MS related things, probably due to the heat and my exercising again, but, I know my limit now and I accept that I have a limit. It feels good to be totally in control of my life and destiny.
2011 was the year of doubt and challenges.
2012 was the year of learning and forgiveness.
2013 will be the year of change.
I look forward to it :)
Love always,
Jaime Lee
11:11
